Book Review: Bedtiming
March 18, 2010
snoozing Calvin
I read about this book on Moxie and was intrigued since it purported to take a developmental approach to sleep issues. There are some interesting developmental resources available on infant/child sleep… Moxie herself has some of the best resources on this. But I was still curious about seeing a more comprehensive study of such issues. The premise of this book is that if you want to make sleep changes that happen easily and that will stick, you need to do it in the right developmental window. Since I have tried to make changes before – and I’ve usually failed miserably – I thought that this sounded like good information to have.
I should note that Calvin and I had been experiencing sleep hell when this book arrived. I was really at my wit’s end – what was going on with my little guy who was previously so content to nurse a bit and then go straight back to sleep? Now he cried and squirmed and tossed and turned. It didn’t matter if he slept in his own bed, or in my bed… no matter what I tried, he could not sleep. He was nursing at night more than a newborn and still he could not sleep. I am so thankful that Moxie had several great posts on the 18 month-old and how he didn’t want to sleep. Misery loves company.
So you can bet that upon receiving the book I quickly flipped to the section that would address my current woes. According to the book, 17-21 months is not a good time to implement changes because of the toddler’s fear of separation and his determination to hold his own in conflict situations. Instead, stay consistent in bedtime routines and just wait it out. I really was not surprised by the advice because it was exactly what I was experiencing. While I would have liked a solution, I can definitely appreciate the fact that what I was experiencing was normal.
In the end though, I didn’t feel that this book really had a lot to do with sleep. Instead the book is a developmental overview up to age four. The developmental stages are loosely tied to sleep issues. Sleep is really only mentioned at the very beginning and the very end of the book. I think this would be really helpful information for new parents who don’t yet know much about developmental stages. Otherwise, I think that Moxie’s information about sleep regressions is every bit as helpful – and I’d even venture to say that it’s probably more helpful.
The second to last chapter is devoted to a brief analysis of the major “sleep training” techniques: CIO a la Weissbluth, CIO/gradual extinction a la Ferber, and no-cry solutions a la Pantley. The authors contend that there is no best way to help your baby sleep so they run through the major options and leave it to the parent to choose. I am anti-CIO (I particularly abhor Weissbluth’s method), but I do appreciate the way that the authors handled these topics. In the CIO section they are careful to point out that there is nothing wrong with nursing or rocking your baby to sleep and that indeed, this is often a very enjoyable activity.
Long story short: Take a look at this book if you want a good developmental overview that can be related back to sleep issues. There is a little chart in the front of the book that is especially handy for quickly determining whether or not your child is at a good age for changes. There was once a time when I thought that I would easily go on nursing Calvin at night until he was no longer interested… that time passed. There will most likely come a time when you want to make changes to help your child (and you!) sleep, so be prepared beforehand.
True organization means less stuff
March 8, 2010
Is anyone else in a constant state of trying to get organized? Have you also come to the realization that no amount of organizational do-dads are going to help the process?
I’ve been on an organization mission for the past year. Something about having a baby in the house made me realize that though I appear organized on the surface, I am in fact very disorganized underneath. The solution has been simple but not painless: less stuff. If I get rid of all the stuff that I don’t use then organization becomes much more feasible.
Purging is simple if you follow a basic plan:
1. Determine to be resolute in your decisions. This is not going to work if you are going to waffle or err on the side of keeping something “just in case.”
2. Decide which area to tackle first. I recommend a small area like the coat closet, bathroom cabinets or linen closet.
3. Bring along two sets of boxes or bags. One is for items to be donated, the other is for items to be trashed. You may want another box for items to be sold,only if your stuff is valuable and you have the time and inclination to bother with selling. Personally I find that selling is time-consuming and adds another layer of complication to my life. I don’t bother for items that are worth less than $20 or so.
4. As you look at the items in this space, ask yourself: How long have I had this? When have I last used this? If you’ve had it for a year or more and you haven’t used it, then it must go. Does this still fit? Do I ever wear this? It’s really hard to get rid of “skinny clothes.” For now give yourself permission to hold on to the items that you really liked, but get rid of the rest. If there are items that you never wear then these too must go. Do I even like this? Sometimes I find that I hold onto something even though I have never liked it – maybe it was a gift or maybe I got a deal on it. These items too must go.
5. It is inevitable that there will be a few items that you just can’t decide on. There may be a shirt or shoes that you haven’t worn in years but you think you will wear someday. If you are really torn between keeping and tossing/donating an item, then I recommend placing these items in a “donate later” box. Pack the items in the box and then push it to the back of the closet. If you don’t miss these items in the next six months, then go ahead and get rid of them.
6. Once you have conquered the easy areas like the linen closet, move on to the harder areas such as your own closet, the kitchen, the basement, the garage. Once you experience a small taste of success you will hopefully become an efficient (and ruthless!) purger.
7. After you have acquired a decent sized donation pile, drive it to the nearest Goodwill, or schedule a free pickup using the VVA or the Salvation Army.
8. Wait a few months… and then repeat the exercise all over again. If you’re anything like me, you will continue to find items that must go. Purging must be performed on an ongoing basis.
I am fortunate in that I am not sentimental at all when it comes to things. This makes purging really easy for me. I am unfortunate in that my husband is extremely sentimental – to the point where we are storing the boxes and manuals for every computer program he has ever purchased… including old copies of Windows.
I have been doing this for a while and I have found that I have no regrets about the items that I have purged. (Well, I’ll take that back just a bit – there was one time when I was stripping diapers that I regretted getting rid of a very large stock pot. But I have two other stock pots so this was by no means a monumental regret.) What I do regret is that I’ve let stuff clutter up my home and my life. I regret the money I’ve spent on acquiring junk. I regret the fact that I have moved items from house to house without ever using said items.
Live and learn. The process has not only made my house much less cluttered, but I’ve become a more savvy shopper. I’m much more critical of evaluating an item to see if it is junk that I will someday toss or an item that I truly need. If there is any chance that it is the former, then I am likely to save my money for something more meaningful.
Keep them rear-facing
February 15, 2010
Earlier this week I took out Calvin’s carseat so that I could clean the seat and install a seat protector. He is still rear-facing and his muddy little shoes were not playing nice with the interior of my new car. Just for kicks, I set the carseat in a forward-facing position and I let him sit in it. Wow, it was so nice… so much more room. I was tempted to install it like that, but I just couldn’t – not when he is only 17 months.
A few days later I stumbled across the following link: Why Rear Facing is Better. If you have a little one, please check this out. Just a few stats for you:
- Forward-facing children under the age of 2 are 75% more likely to be injured.
- Toddlers up to the age of 2 are more than 5 times safer riding rear-facing.
- After reviewing studies from the U.S. and Sweden, a study published in the highly regarded British Medical Journal advises keeping children rear-facing until age 4.
Yes, it’s a bit of a sacrifice to keep Calvin rear-facing. He would probably enjoy the car more if he faced forward and I would definitely have an easier time getting him in and out. But I am resolved to keep him rear-facing until he reaches the weight limit on his seat – his safety is worth it.
Looking for a good convertible carseat at a reasonable price? I have The First Years True Fit and I love it. Similar to the pricey Marathon seats, this seat seems super comfy, is incredibly easy to install and one year later it still looks brand new.
Parent’s Prayer
February 12, 2010
I love this parent’s prayer:
“O Heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes, or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal. And guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honesty produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and to make decisions. Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable requests and the courage to deny them the privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind. And fit me, O Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children. Amen”
Thanks to Molly @ Close to Home for sharing.
Is all this cloth diapering saving me money?
January 30, 2010
My son has been in cloth diapers since he was about two weeks old. My main motivation for cloth was the monetary savings (buy diapers for the first baby, and then you’re set for subsequent babies) and the environmental savings (no reason for any more of our waste to sit in a landfill). There are plenty of other benefits, though – a truly better product, a much more attractive product, no chemicals next to sensitive areas, and supposedly easier potty learning. Despite the extra laundry, cloth diapering has remained the most attractive diapering option for our family.
But recently I began wondering if I really was saving any money. According to Mothering magazine, “a child will go through about 8,000 diapers changes. At $.25 per diaper, that adds up to $2,000 spent on disposables.” (Evans, Lindsay. “Dumping Disposable Diapers.” Mothering. April 2008: 50.) Are these numbers valid? How do cloth diapers compare?
Cost of Disposables
When I buy disposable diapers I always buy the Target brand which sells for $10.69 for 60 diapers – $.178 per diaper, a little less than quoted in the Mothering piece. How about the number of diaper changes? When my son was a newborn I remember changing his diaper constantly. But now that his little system is more mature he really doesn’t need as many changes. If you change your kid’s diaper 8.7 times per day for 2.5 years, you get to 8,000 diaper changes. Eight or nine changes per day is reasonable for a young baby, but I haven’t changed my son that often for awhile. Let’s drop the estimate down to 6,000, which still may be a bit of an overestimate.
Based on these calculations, my cost to use disposables full-time would be about $1,068 per child. Note that I have not included the cost of wipes or diaper pail liners, etc. I don’t use these products so I am not equipped to guesstimate their cost.
Cost of Cloth
There are several components to the cost of cloth: the cost of the product and the cost to launder.
I have purchased the following products for my son:
- Snappis – $2.50 x 3 = $7.50
- Newborn prefolds (dozen) – $21 x 2 = $42
- Infant Fitted Diaper – $6.75 x 6 = $40.50 (yikes, this was a complete waste of money! Chaulk it up to learning curve).
- Infant prefolds (dozen) – $25 x 3 = $75
- Med prefolds (dozen) – $29 x 3 = $87
- Large prefolds (dozen) – $32 x 2 = $64
- Toddler prefolds (dozen) – $36 x 2 = $72
- Newborn covers – $11 x 4 = $44
- Small covers – $12 x 5 = $60
- Medium covers – $12 x 4 = $48
- Larger cover – $8 x 1 = $8
- Large covers – $11 x 4 = $44
- Doublers – $3.75 x 6 = $22.50 (would have skipped in retrospect)
- I won several covers in a contest, had I not won them I would have spent about $25 more
The cost to cloth diaper all of my children comes to $639.50. (In retrospect I could have skipped a few of these items and shaved about $71).
To truly have an accurate comparison, I would also need to include the increased costs of my water, electricity and gas bills. I have sorted through the historical costs of these items and have found the variance to be a bit unbelievable. For a brief period of time my water bill was almost doubled and as of right now it’s at about a 40% increase. I really haven’t seen much of an increase at all in my gas bill which is odd considering that heating the water is supposedly the greatest cost of running a washing machine. However I do see a quite a large increase in my electric bill – almost 50%! I have to question whether this is really related to the diapers or if it because I am now home more often.
I will need to complete more research before providing an accurate utility cost for cloth diapering. Right now I would guesttimate that I am spending about $20 per month in additional utilities. If we cloth diaper for 2.5 years, I’ll spend a total of $600 on utilities.
I am not surprised to see that it costs more to cloth diaper the first child. Now that I have seen the numbers, I have to question whether cloth diapering is worth it. While it can be annoying to have to run the diapers through the laundry, I still firmly believe that the cloth is a superior product (personally I don’t enjoy having a baby poop on me). I also believe that it is the better choice for the environment. While I do use extra water to wash the diapers, I am not sending anything to the landfill and I like that.
I would love to hear more cost analysis from fellow fans of cloth. Do you think the cost to use disposables is accurate? What about the additional utility costs to wash the cloth diapers? Is cloth really worth it?
